Intentional Fatherhood Podcast – Episode 3: Habits, Rhythms, and Spiritual Disciplines for Intentional Fatherhood

Core Ideas

Formation happens through habits that are mostly invisible, so you practiced your way into problems and must practice your way out (13:36-13:45)
You are always being formed, either conformed to the world or transformed by the renewing of your mind (31:59-32:06)
Trying harder in your own strength drifts into legalism. Habits can't earn God's love, but God's love should reshape habits (56:52-56:56; 57:42-57:48)
Reading and learning from trusted mentors are formational practices that shape how you father (48:10-48:14; 51:33-51:39)

Actionable Takeaways

Open the day with Scripture before your phone. Listening to an audio Bible on the commute counts (20:24-20:31; 20:51-20:55)
Take an hour each day with your phone off, at the same time every day (27:32-27:42)
Kneel to pray when you wake and before bed, even for 30 seconds (24:23-24:29)
Take a short prayer walk at lunch, or after the kids are asleep, and process with God (39:40-39:47)
Choose a rhythm of quiet time that fits your season, such as "something rather than nothing" (23:05-23:07)
Pick a few trusted spiritual writers and read them deeply, not widely (45:04-45:14)
Find the time of day when your mind is open to books, even 20 minutes, and read (54:17-54:24)

Notable Quotes

"You can't think yourself out of a problem you didn't think your way into." (13:36-13:45)
"Where our eyes go, there our life goes." (19:32-19:35)
"Habits can't make God love me." (57:38-57:40)
"Your fatherhood needs you to read." (51:39-51:40)

Scripture References

Romans 6:13

ESV: Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.

MSG: That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don’t give it the time of day. Don’t even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time—remember, you’ve been raised from the dead!—into God’s way of doing things. Sin can’t tell you how to live. After all, you’re not living under that old tyranny any longer. You’re living in the freedom of God.

NIV: Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.

NLT: Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.

Romans 12:1-2

ESV: I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

MSG: So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

NIV: Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

NLT: And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.